This new life of mine, was really the biggest jump I had ever made.  I walked out on a life I had built for 12 years.  I think it took me a year from conception of the idea to reality.  And, whew… the past two years to recover and get truly settled in a happy life.

The biggest step I remember was saying it out loud to those it would effect the most.  I probably put that off for quite some time.  Then, I sat in a chair and forced myself to say things out loud.  ”I am leaving on March 15.”  It was nice I had actually made a plan.  Then when the day came, I followed through.

I was confused at first, wanting to stay at the helm of the life I had created.  A friend, Rick Valente (Bodyshaping, 1988 and 5150 Van Halen album cover) once said to me, “You are as responsible as you choose to be.”  Those words echoed to me for months and months afterward.  Along with a saying from the Horse Whisperer, …something like, “Why do you have to hold everything up? Why don’t you just let it fall?”  I know these words are not positive in all aspects, but they suited me for my intentions.  I turned my back on responsibility and let everything I had work so hard for crumble to nothing… all by choice.

Luckily, I did not have any children to drag through the mud.  I am also lucky to have amazing parents who took me in, didn’t ask too many questions, but also listened when I needed to get things off my chest.

After things diminished, I was left with a clean slate and a new foundation.  A foundation of knowledge and empowerment.  Now, I can go any direction I choose.  I keep saying, this is the year of doing what I want, when I want!!

I am truly blessed!!

I have been grinning all day!! I was trying to think of the date. When it came to me, I realized… it was two years ago today I walked out of my unfulfilling life and started another one. Thank God for giving me the strength!!

I am helping my amazing room mate develop a reality show. We need submissions. Here is the post:

Looking for muscular women for a reality tv pilot, from figure to powerlifting. Director Chris Bell of Bigger Stronger Faster and producer of Big Brother teaming up to create a reality show about muscular women and their daily lives. Send emails to musclebeachcasting@gmail.com include: name, age, location, occupation, do you do sessions (not required), a brief description and a couple pictures.

Forward this information to your muscular female friends.

Here is a clip to that 600 lb bench. I wish I had a better shot. If anyone does, please email me: becca@beccaswanson.com

Three years ago today, I benched 600 lbs. Then, I retired from powerlifting. Such an exciting feat!! My bench press was actually in Muscle and Fitness a few years ago as the #8 Greatest Sports Feats of All-time!!!

My first music video. I am a female bouncer in “I Can’t Take” by Mr Xquisit.   Show my friend some love and hit the “LIKE” button. Enjoy!

Mr Xquisit – I Can’t Take (My Eyes Off You) from Josh Nardo on Vimeo.

I am!!  I am under construction right now.  Losing all this weight is great!!  I feel so much better in my clothes and even out of my clothes… LOL!!   If I didn’t have a room mate I would be walking around naked a lot more ;o).

Well, I did some filming today.  Top secret stuff.  Cross your fingers for me.

I did something new yesterday.  I trained Jiu Jitsu in a Gi.  I will take a picture for you.  Somehow I feel I gained some respect with some of the black belts, now that I am training in a Gi.  Osssss!!

I know my posts have been few and far in between lately.  Things will settle down for me in two days.  And I will get this party started again.

Here are a couple pics from this weekend at my Sensei’s fight.

Well this marks a historic day in my life.  For the first time since the 1990′s I weigh under 200 lbs.  CRAZY!!  I am on my down about 10 more pounds, so I can easily lose a bit of water weight and weigh in at 185 for my DEBUT MMA fight on March 27.

My head spins a bit, am I losing my identity?  I have been known as the biggest female amazon for years now.  Gosh, it was good role to play, but I need to let it go.  I need to be healthy.  At this weight, I definitely feel more attractive.  I cant wait until I have made some waves in MMA.  Then, I will have completely reinvented myself as an athlete.

Jessica Scofield has been a friend of mine for quite some time (thanks to the social network). She posted on my facebook thanking me for inspiration. Well, the tables have turned! Please, enjoy this article.

Stamford teacher brings strength to Cloonan classroom

Just for fun. With my friends Shannon, Nikki, Maria and Mike.